Laughing at others

Trying something new is exciting; Getting stuck while doing that isn't.

I tried to set up bulk email, so I could send multiple emails with just one click. There are thousands of services and thousands more explaining how to avail those. However, I ended up getting stuck at a point, after working on it all day.

I didn't want to miss sending the emails, since it was my first newsletter ('weekly update' doesn't sound as nice and important).

The following morning I decided to send all 50 emails, one by one. I typed every person's name, copy-pasted the body, quickly glanced over the email, hovered around 'send' and forced myself to click it. This took me two hours; 2.5 mins per mail.

While I typed every person's name and did this process, I remembered which blog post they had liked and responded to. I wondered what had made them express their support, even if by sending me a mere 'thumbs up' or signing up via someone I love. How many times had I been as light and as easy to tell someone– 'Hey! that new thing you're trying... it's nice, keep at it'?

It made me think.

I can recount numerous instances where I have mocked someone in their absence; privately, amongst close friends, late night at a bar, because the kitchen had closed and we had no sides to go with our fourth drink. I've called up people and had detailed discussions about how silly something that someone was trying out was– battery draining out, plugging a charger and calling back.

I'm not saying it isn't fun to do.

One particular example I always think of, is laughing at a junior from my college. My friend and I thought he was very unfunny. We would spend hours watching his YouTube videos and picking apart everything 'that was not working'. This behaviour was the textbook definition of someone being a loser; me. Imagine that, I had nothing better to do than convene, with exactly one person more, to mock somebody else's efforts. I was 22 or thereabouts; Not too young.

The said junior continued putting out videos. He started getting popular in college– "meh, been there". He started getting traction on social media– "Social media is cancer!". He started travelling, doing comedy shows– "Hmm... I still don't find him funny". He was part of a comedy movement that kicked off– "wait, what?!". He got himself an Amazon special– "...Netflix too". Kenny's story was inspiring.

Years later, my friend and I had moved on to pooh-poohing someone else.

It took quite a bit of work for me to break this habit; mostly, observing myself every time I did it. I still haven't broken it fully and I probably never will.

I hope the younger me knows that his opinion is inconsequential.

I will continue to send those 50 emails and hopefully more. Even though, it feels difficult to promote myself. Even though, I have no reason to think: my life is so interesting, that 50 people need a weekly update about it.

It doesn't matter what my younger self thinks. It never did.

I will hold the hand that extends generously towards me.

If you were one of the 50 email recipients, my most sincere thanks to you.

If not, please consider signing up. Make sure to check your spam/trash folder.

(Or say hi : [email protected])

Edit: It's 53 emails now!