You've got mail... and issues.
2 min read

You've got mail... and issues.

You've got mail... and issues.

There's someone at the door. Ugh! I'm not wearing a shirt. Let me find one. It's too early in the day for an unexpected visitor. 9am! I am in the middle of making breakfast. Couldn't they choose a better time? I might have to offer them coffee. There's barely any for me. I forgot to order it the other day. Why are they ringing the bell twice?! "Coming..."


"Oh!"– I am, now, opening all three door latches: top, middle and bottom. "I was wondering who it could be". The door still doesn't budge. The twist knob gets stuck always, especially when I'm in a hurry.

I'm always in a hurry to open the door. It is the polite thing to do in my culture– get into a door opening frenzy, pinch your index finger in the process, have a clot, grin and be welcoming.

Even if it was the Amazon delivery guy at the door. Especially for him, because he had come to be the harbinger of happiness; a sign of hope.

I smile ear to ear. The joy of him holding the unopened brown package, waiting to hand it over to me, almost makes me want to offer him the coffee.

He scans the package with his phone and hands it to me. Before I know it, I'm alone at the door. He has vanished; Like a fairy who came down, granted me a wish and disappeared.

I don't know what I ordered. I'm trying to guess. But I don't want to try too hard, because then I'll remember and I won't surprise myself. What could I have ordered only two days ago? hmm.

I spend a minute trying to decide if I should finish breakfast, do dishes and then reward myself with unraveling this package. But then I decide 'the best time is now'.

I try to rip it open, but the navy blue tape at the seams won't give way. I pierce a blunt knife through the tape and it slides open, as if unlocked by code. Smooth. I have this knife by the door for doing just this. It's annoying to go find a knife every two days.

Finally, I open the parcel.

Oh, it's a Chinese... serial light that forms... patterns. I ordered it three weeks ago. I don't remember why.

They look a little tacky. But it's ok I guess. I think I'll return it. Oh, it doesn't have the ten day return huh? hmm. I'll use it somewhere. But they don't look good, actually.

I don't like them.

I know, I had decided: one thing goes out of the house every time a new thing comes in from Amazon. But it's so tough to follow that rule. It takes too long to decide things I don't need. And so little to decide what I want.

Especially when Amazon has set up my payments so well for the app. It's less painful than plastic money even. I forget I'm paying for all this. So seamless.

All I have to do is swipe.

And a fairy appears.